What Is Independence? Or Why Having Pets Is Not Good!
I think one of the main differences between Eastern and Western culture is the duality between individualism and collectivism.
I have many reasons why collectivism is a failed system that should be avoided in this day and age, but I'm not going to elaborate on that here. What I want to focus on is individualism. Individualism means each person should have the freedom and ability to live their own life, make their own choices, and take responsibility for themselves. In relation to others, individualism teaches that each person should be able to operate as an independent, autonomous cell. Each person should be able to function independently and without dependence on any other person. This is very good and very healthy (and again, I'm going to skip over why that is).
The problem starts when people try to define independence as “every person should function independently and without dependence on any other person”. The difference in this definition is the difference between having the potential and acting on it.
To give a good analogy here, consider that you have the ability to provide and cook food at your house on your own. This is independence, meaning that you don't rely on anyone to provide food for you. But this doesn't mean that you always have to do that, or that you should never eat at a friend's house! On the contrary, you can even eat at your friend's house every single day and still keep your food independence (assuming it’s mutual!). The reason you would do that is because there are benefits to sharing food with friends. We can have a much better time when we sit together, talk, laugh, and eat. Each person at that table does have the ability to provide and cook food on their own, but they all choose to share this food and time together because it brings them so much joy. This doesn't take away independence. It keeps the independence, while enjoying other benefits.
It is very common to teach people that they should be independent when they become 18, separate from their parents, and live on their own. This is not right. What should be preached is that people should be able to be independent when they become 18, should be able to separate from their parents, and should be able to live on their own. Not necessarily doing that, but having the potential to do that. (what people should do is obviously what is best for them at any moment and in any situation, meaning what brings them the most benefit.)
But because we create this incorrect definition of independence, we push people toward living in separate cells and operating individually, not together. The result is what we see a lot in current western society: individual people living alone, independently, but alone.
And here’s where independence becomes related to pets! Many of these lonely people think to themselves, “Why am I so lonely?” So they usually try to solve it by bringing in a pet. Then they say things like: “This pet is like family”, “It’s like my child”. No, it is not! A pet can give comfort, routine, and affection, but it cannot fully replace human connection. A pet does not challenge us as an equal. It does not negotiate with us, disagree with us in a human way, or force us to grow through the normal frictions of peer relationships. (forget the fact that keeping a pet is technically an abduction! That’s why they keep the doors closed and use a leash!)
They are trying to solve the problem of loneliness by creating this controlled connection with a pet because they fear that having a deeper, eye-to-eye-level connection with an actual peer can take away their independence. But that pet is not the actual connection that humans need. It's a master-slave relationship. We order the pet around and manage it however we want. That's not a healthy relationship for humans.
People should be able to work together, live together, function as a group, deal with all the frictions that comes with it, work through those frictions, solve them, and create stronger healthy relationships. Because the joy and benefit of togetherness are what we all ultimately need and desire.
::samic::
Written on 2026-05-01 by Samic.
